Tout ce que vous avez toujours voulu savoir sur Nibiru ...

... sans jamais avoir été assez bourré pour oser demander, est dans ce document (PDF) 117 pages en englische, mais avec plein d'images comme celle ci:

Et pour ceux qui attendent impatiemment la fin du monde: C'est demain! Si elle nous loupe demain, ya plein d'autres dates, voir doc, le 21 dec n'a pas été oublié:

16 October 2012: Nibiru reaches perigee. At this proximity of 0.232 AU, it is close enough to exert 72% of the magnetic influence of the Sun. However, it is likely that Earth will not be flipped by 259 but rather there may be an equilibrium reached between Nibiru's north pole repelling our north pole and attracting our south pole and its south pole repelling our south pole and attracting our north pole. Effectively, the Earth could be completely turned upside down by 180 from its natural inclination. We will also be receiving glancing blows from the Sun's super-massive flares at this point.

22 November 2012: Nibiru aligns with Earth and the Sun. It will also be trying to pull Earth with it out of the solar system. This will be a literal tug-of-war between it and the Sun.

Unfortunately for us, as Earth comes between the Sun and Nibiru it will be caught in the crossfire of the magnetic, electric and radioactive exchange flaring between them. (merde alors, après avoir été secoués en plus on va griller)
It is then that we will be in position to receive the full brunt of the energies from both objects at the same time!

21 December 2012: the infamous date sees the Earth approaching an alignment between the Sun and Elenin, and Nibiru also aligning between the Sun and Jupiter - all from the same general direction in space. It's as if the objects have conspired together to pull at the Sun. The magnetic stress on the star must be immense, especially with the combined forces of the two largest bodies (next to the Sun) in the solar system, Nibiru and Jupiter, involved! Note: at this stage the distance between Nibiru and its Elenin should be decreasing as Elenin is decelerating while Nibiru is accelerating as it has just been flung out of the inner solar system by the Sun.

28 December 2012: the double alignments are perfected.

28 July 2013: Nibiru approaches Jupiter in what looks like a head-on collision course! Comme si on n'avait pas deja assez d'emmerdes avec la crise ...

5 August 2013: ... On verra hein c'est dans longtemps. Elle va nous faire ch... jusque 2018.

Un extraterrestre conspirationniste et paranoiaque m'informe de surcroit que le site Haarp avec son magnetometre est down depuis hier soir.

Pour ceux qui préfèrent lire quelque cj´hoise de sérieux, la révolution de l'informatique est chez Crashdebug
Une équipe d'ingénieurs australiens revendique avoir fait le premier quantum (qubit) façonné hors d'un atome phosphoreux simple, incorporé sur une puce de silicone conventionnelle.

Et pour ceux qui aiment les sites douteux (wikistrike):
Alignements planétaires: La NASA prévient les pays à risque d'un potentiel séisme majeur dans  les jours qui viennent

EDIT la NASA part à la chasse:
NASA scientists plan to launch a telescope into space in an attempt to find the mysterious killer planet Nibiru. Supposedly, the planet may considerably change life on Earth in near future, reports NTV. PRAVDA