WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report) – According to the Fox News Channel, President Barack Obama is so weary of the debt ceiling stalemate in Congress that he is beginning to wonder why he moved to the United States in the first place.
Fox News anchor Shepard Smith broke the story today, reporting that “sources close to the President say he’s increasingly nostalgic for the land of his birth.”
“To someone like President Obama, this wrangling in Congress must seem very foreign,” said Mr. Smith. “In Kenya, debt ceilings are raised automatically by the village elders, who then celebrate with a ceremonial feast of cabbage, mangoes and goat.”
While Mr. Smith stopped short of saying that Mr. Obama planed to leave Washington and return to his native Kenya, “his birth certificate does allow him to return at any time he sees fit.”
“As he sees Congress push the United States ever closer to default, who can blame Mr. Obama for longing for simpler times, roaming free on the savanna?” Mr. Smith reported.
In other debt ceiling news, by unanimous vote the House of Representatives passed a bill raising Speaker of the House John Boehner’s medication.As for the debt ceiling negotiations, they are “right on schedule,” according to the ancient Mayans.